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Your Secret Nemesis

In a previous article (if you missed it, click here), you met your anti-boss, that powerful force in your subconscious that strikes whenever you want to make a positive change in your life that requires work.

The anti-boss is triggered when you want to

 Overcome a bad habit

 Improve our health

 Advance ourselves spiritually

 Grow through education

 Improve your world or community

Keeping you at bay

The anti-boss is relentless and mean and armed with diabolical weapons such as procrastination, rationalization, and self-gratification.

Other methods the anti-boss uses to keep us from succeeding – or even getting started – are:

- The Imposter Syndrome – making us feel like we are not worthy or qualified

- Fuzzy Goals – convincing us to set goals without a clear timeline or start date

- Unreadiness – the feeling that we are not quite ready to start this undertaking but will be some day.

Get Mad!

The anti-boss wants to kill your dreams. Sorry to be blunt, but if that doesn’t piss you off, nothing will. If there was ever a time to get mad – this is it! Use that anger as a motivator for the good fight.

Fortunately, you have some powerful weapons at your disposal:

- Persistence – because the resistance of the anti-boss is so strong, you will fail time and time again. But you haven’t lost the war until you decide to give up. Don’t give up.

- Support – Enlist family and friends. Let them know what you want to achieve and ask them to encourage you and keep you accountable. Let them be the boss to your anti-boss.

- Planning – There is often a disconnect between what the NOW you wants to do and what the LATER you actually does. Help the future you by setting it up for success:

1) Keep it in your face - Write down what you are want to achieve and WHY it is important to you. Then put it where you will see it every day: next to your bed, a sticky note on your computer screen, on your phone’s home screen, anywhere that will put it in your face.

2) Set the environment – create an environment that is conducive to productivity and squelches distractions.

3) Use the tech advantage – though technology provides a plethora of distractions, we can also use it to our advantage. For example we can set daily reminders or block out web browsing for a set period on our phones and computers.

One clever website,, actually allows you to publicly state your goals, set the stakes (even with real money), and get a third party to “referee” your progress, and provides supporters for your commitment.

4) Be a streaker! – No, don’t run around nude, but use this strategy that Jerry Seinfeld recommends to young comics to nudge themselves to write every day. Get a big wall calendar that has a year on one page. After every day that you work on your project, put a big red X through the day. After a while you will have created a streak or chain - a visible motivator not to let up, no matter what.

Fighting the Good Fight

Remember, you may lose today or you may win. Either way, tomorrow is another battle, so put on that armor and use these weapons to battle the anti-boss. Because one thing is certain - it will be back and ready to take you on.

Think well, be well!

- Steve Haffner

Want to improve your own thinking and decision making? Click here for my free ebook.


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